Toxic People and Relationships

Acknowledging toxic people is one of the important step towards inching closer to being happy in our day to day in our life. We also know that being happy day to day brings changes in our daily habits, our daily habits accumulate consequences over a period of time. This is so powerful that, in the hindsight, if whatever it is that we are, is a direct cumulative consequence of our daily habits that we have indulged in so far. We will talk about this cycle in detail in a separate post some other time.

Getting back to the topic of toxic people, they surround us all the time. We can only be bothered by these people if we are in some kind of a relationship with them. These relationship could be your institutionalised relationships such as wives or husbands and other related legal relations. There are so many other type of relations such as that of your blood relations form your fathers side or from you mothers side etc. Then there are relations that you forge while you go out there and socialise with the world, here you make relationships such as friends, girlfriends, boyfriends etc. Then you either start your business or start working for a firm and you make or made to stick to some people who are you colleagues, within this colleagues you have your seniors, juniors, boss/manager and what not. At work, you also end up with relationships namely clients, vendors, partners etc.

Let the toxicity go!

You’d notice that some of these relationships make you feel good and some of them do not and it isn’t about sometimes. It is mostly about most of the times, so this is where the first step comes into place, it is the acknowledgement step. This is where you identify and acknowledge the people who make you feel certain way and this way is not a good way. You certainly could make a distinction between the good feel relationships and the bad ones. After you’ve identified, before you acknowledge, you should always pass the benefit of the doubt to these bad feel relationships. You should let some time pass, may be some transactions be done between you and these people, notice how they ask for help and how they react when you ask for help. Also notice how they talk about you on you face and at your back while you keep your part of the etiquette and respect. This is where you take the step of acknowledge!

This is where you then make sure that you have identified these people and have a strategy to manage them. This could be, for the people to whom you have no obligations such as that person from that other team or that other colony/building can be straight away squared off from your relationship list. You can start to avoid them and slowly get away from them or you could simply confront them and let them know what you feel and snap the door on them. Then there are people who are toxic to you and are in relationship with you which has societal significance but them being there or not makes no difference to your life, you can let them go as well.

There would be some people whom you can’t get rid off from your life as they maybe your close relatives or your family members. For them, you may have to find a working relationship, a workable relationship. This is where you distance yourself from them to a limit where you are not totally cut off from them yet you are not close enough to them for their toxicity to affect you.

Then there are relationships which are institutional such as marriage which requires you to have a confrontation with your partner and let them know how you feel about the relationship. In this relationship you always give each other enough time and put in enough genuine efforts that you could achieve a turnaround. But unfortunately, sometimes, there are situations in such relationships where in you have to Let go of each other for the very fact that being together makes you both want to get rid of each other. And with a heavy heart, you must, in such situations, let go of each other for the betterment of both the individuals. Having kids in such equations backspace situations, certainly, Makes it even tougher to let go. Backspace but it is there for the betterment of three that you should let go and most likely and most preferably work out a solution which is beneficial backspace most beneficial for the kids.

Yes the relationships and the people associated to them are tricky to deal with. But this is also what makes us human. For the majority of relationships you’re always have positivity around you, it is thus important to leverage on this positivity and let go of toxic relationships and people.

Then there is the most taken for granted relationship and that is, the one of between the mother and her child. More about this relationship in some other post!

There is nothing in a nutshell about relationships, but one thing about toxic ones is true and that is you need to Acknowledge and work through them for some you can let go and for some you need to find a working relationship.

2 thoughts on “Toxic People and Relationships

  1. Pawan!
    It’s very helpful.

    I have one question
    I have a friend for past 6 years. We both are besties. He tells others that anand is his best fiend. But when many times he left me on road or at malls for a date telling me that family issue or someone is I’ll.

    I confronted him once he said Anand you are my best friend. i didn’t tell you as you felt bad. He also said Anand i am your best friend because I need you. I am your best friend because you need me

    What should i do. I have only one close friend and all are acquaintance.

  2. In this case, you should tell him to be more honest with you. Besides, he has told you the truth afterwards anyway! you should probably assure him that you wouldn’t feel so bad in case he does disclose what he has to really leave you for! Plus, when he has committed some time with you, you need to tell him, then he should respect that and not go out for such adventures while he is with you. This is what you should tell him!

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